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Thursday, November 25, 2010

Professional driver, closed course, do not attempt

            While I have and will usually write about serious subjects with regard to the proper functioning of the community of believers in Jesus, when it comes to humor, I tend to lean towards the wacky panels style.  This reflects that aspect of me.
            One of the serious changes to our society during my lifetime was the change, I believe it was in the 1960’s, to not limit the amount of persons allowed to enter, and therefore, graduate from law school and become attorneys.  From that came attorneys not having enough legitimate work and generate some, which in turn created our litiginous society, which then created some little oddities caused by companies attempting to protect themselves to a ridiculous degree.  One of the most obvious is during car commercials, where, at some point, in fine print, on the bottom of the screen, appears the words, “Professional driver, closed course, do not attempt.”  One extreme appeared in a commercial a few years ago where one sees a car (bad commercial—I don’t remember which brand anymore) which is driving with its left wheels on the ledge of a tall city building and the right side of the car parallel to the ground, but in mid-air.  What do they mean, “Do not attempt”?   How could I get a car up there?  If I could, it’s physically impossible to balance a car on two wheels and have the car parallel to the ground.  Given that, am I supposed to believe that a paying a driver makes that scenario more plausible than if you had a volunteer?
            This was brought to my mind this morning when I saw the exact opposite commercial.  It was from Audi.  After showing words and various stuff, we see a scene in which four new models of Audi are driving in parallel down a piece of pavement in the middle of a desert, nothing else around, mountains far in the distance, and they stick up on the screen, “Professional driver, closed course.  Do not attempt.”  Why not?  It looks safer than, say, driving eight cars wide, with more to the front and back, on the QED on the west edge of Toronto.  Did someone at the ad agency just throw those words onto everything?    By the way, say “professional” implies that a person is more skilled, but it really only means that one gets paid.  I know most persons reading this could do my job as well as I do it with a few months of experience, and nearly as well immediately, because it is mind-numbing easy.  I think I could be a professional at driving a brand new car nearly by itself in the middle of the desert.  The only problem is that such a job is only needed for a few seconds.  Oh, well…

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